Gramasylum has been on the shelf for three weeks. The first week of November I got word my mother was not doing well. We moved her to a new care facility and so I made flight plans to go see her. The day before I was scheduled to leave I got word she was declining pretty fast. I arrived on a Thursday evening. My mother passed away Saturday at 6 p.m. It was fast. I was there holding her hand and stroking her hair as she left this world. All three of my sisters and my brother were there, too. And, she knew we were there. It was a sad, precious, and sacred time. I am so grateful that I was able to be there, that my siblingss were all there together. Believe it or not it set the tone for Thanksgiving coming up the very next week. Gramasylum took to the shelf for these three weeks (almost four) but my own mother's dying actually energized my resolve to be as crazy a grandma as possible. So. Gramasylum is back. With renewed energy!
It started with a simple observation about a t-shirt. Sitting at
the counter for Thanksgiving dinner Laurel commented about the dinosaur on
Kasen's t-shirt. Laurel, 4, identified it as a T Rex. Kasen, 3, replied,
"No, it's a dinosaur." Laurel continued the conversation insisting
that it was a T Rex. Kasen continued to
correct her telling her it was a dinosaur. The tone and volume intensified.
Laurel tried very patiently to tutor Kasen in the particulars of the varieties
of dinosaurs. Kasen was not to be tutored. His resolve matched her patience
perfectly. The conversation was going nowhere good.
The adults at the big table were now fully engaged in following
the argument ensuing at the counter. And no one was intervening, yet. A sneak
peak toward the counter without disrupting the
going-nowhere conversation
revealed the arms of both children were now folded tight and the jaws were set.
The volley began.
"You are a pillow with a flower on it," Kasen retorted!
"You are an ear with a kiwi in it," Laurel proclaimed!
“Yeah, well you are a pickle in water,” Kasen volleyed back!
The adults were now laughing so hard turkey and dressing and
potatoes were flying everywhere. Where did this pseudo name-calling come from?
We could not wait to hear what was next. Then it turned serious.
"Then I am not going to talk to you anymore,” Laurel
declared!
"I'm not going to talk to you," Kasen countered!
"Well then, I am not going to be play with you ever, ever again," Laurel replied.
"And I am not going to be your friend," Kasen countered.
Ok. Time for the adults to get involved. Kiwis and flowers are one
thing. Breaking cousin love is entirely another. I approached the counter and
did not try to tutor on dinosaurs and T Rexes, but on the importance of staying
in relationship. I can imagine them in ten years heading out the door together
to walk the beach. And in twelve or thirteen years driving away in a car to go
to the mall or a movie or a game with friends. One day they could be a huge
support to each other—not just cousins, but friends. I am not sure how much of
what I told them they understood. But a few minutes later they were arm in arm
running down the hall laughing and being as silly as usual. Such fun. Such a
blessing. Only one of the many blessings I am grateful for this Thanksgiving. Kiwi ear, pickle in water, flower on a pillow--I just love these little people and their crazy talk.
Would love to hear from some of you Gramasylum readers! What crazy things are you doing these days with your granz or are your granz doing with you? Post a comment below. We all need the enouragment to be crazy.
